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  • Becoming Grandma | Parenting Today
    about to begin an adventure unparalleled in your life so far from my experience Your philosophy just continues as a grandparent unconditional love and asking how you can help Both our children become parents in close succession and included a set of twins too and I had observed and listened as others became grandparents to help us figure it all out I offered a day a week to each family when we are in town and that has worked for us for 8 years now Depending on the stage and age and situation sometimes the mom s work an occasional day or do errands or work around at home Of course some weeks there may be other needs or not but it has enables me to devlop and know our grandchildren in a consistent wonderful way but I am not the day to day caregiver I am supporting our children and they know that we know and love them and are able to care for them if needed I also try to have a turn with each one separately but now that 4 of them are in school it takes real planning Once they got to school and are involved in some activities as well I realize how important those first 5 years were are to our relationships I could go on and on but will stop and say grandparenting is the icing on the cake and I know you will love it I continue to enjoy your newsletters and so do our children Thank you for all you do for children and families Kathy Reply kathy says June 28 2012 at 10 37 am Thank you I figure I will be helping a lot for the first month with both families and then like you develop a routine and also be available for special situations Reply Shirley Vollett says June 28 2012 at 10 17 am Congratulations Kathy How wonderful My sister is also expecting grand twins in September so this is very real to me too Hope all goes well with both births and although I m not a grandma yet myself I have been told that it is a relationship like no other Reply anne says June 28 2012 at 4 07 pm I am not coming at this from the grandparent perspective but the parent perspective as I have two sets of twins Your daughter will be very lucky to have your support The first year is brutal even more brutal than having one baby As a parent I really wished I could have savoured more of the good times Perhaps you can help with that Good luck and get some rest now while you can Reply Lorraine Barner says July 1 2012 at 6 05 pm Hi Kathy As you already know I am overjoyed for you and John You are in for the ride of your life better than ANY carousel roller coaster or Orient Experess I could go on all day about the

    Original URL path: http://parentingtoday.ca/2012/06/becoming-grandma/?replytocom=2913 (2013-06-03)
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  • Becoming Grandma | Parenting Today
    to begin an adventure unparalleled in your life so far from my experience Your philosophy just continues as a grandparent unconditional love and asking how you can help Both our children become parents in close succession and included a set of twins too and I had observed and listened as others became grandparents to help us figure it all out I offered a day a week to each family when we are in town and that has worked for us for 8 years now Depending on the stage and age and situation sometimes the mom s work an occasional day or do errands or work around at home Of course some weeks there may be other needs or not but it has enables me to devlop and know our grandchildren in a consistent wonderful way but I am not the day to day caregiver I am supporting our children and they know that we know and love them and are able to care for them if needed I also try to have a turn with each one separately but now that 4 of them are in school it takes real planning Once they got to school and are involved in some activities as well I realize how important those first 5 years were are to our relationships I could go on and on but will stop and say grandparenting is the icing on the cake and I know you will love it I continue to enjoy your newsletters and so do our children Thank you for all you do for children and families Kathy Reply kathy says June 28 2012 at 10 37 am Thank you I figure I will be helping a lot for the first month with both families and then like you develop a routine and also be available for special situations Reply Shirley Vollett says June 28 2012 at 10 17 am Congratulations Kathy How wonderful My sister is also expecting grand twins in September so this is very real to me too Hope all goes well with both births and although I m not a grandma yet myself I have been told that it is a relationship like no other Reply anne says June 28 2012 at 4 07 pm I am not coming at this from the grandparent perspective but the parent perspective as I have two sets of twins Your daughter will be very lucky to have your support The first year is brutal even more brutal than having one baby As a parent I really wished I could have savoured more of the good times Perhaps you can help with that Good luck and get some rest now while you can Reply Lorraine Barner says July 1 2012 at 6 05 pm Hi Kathy As you already know I am overjoyed for you and John You are in for the ride of your life better than ANY carousel roller coaster or Orient Experess I could go on all day about the bliss

    Original URL path: http://parentingtoday.ca/2012/06/becoming-grandma/?replytocom=2914 (2013-06-03)
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  • Do Some Students Ever Deserve a Zero? | Parenting Today
    Home Great Work What is the Focus for Parenting Today 4 Responses to Do Some Students Ever Deserve a Zero Terri Cody says June 4 2012 at 10 11 am Then these students come to college and expect the instructors to allow them to do what they want and totally expect to pass the course If assignments are not handed in on time some students are shocked to discover the grade for that assignment is 0 Some students actually say it isn t fair that they are expected to do what is convenient for the teacher There are all sorts of rules about timelines in our society whether it is paying bills handing in reports at work showing up on time for work which also shocks some students being on time for travel and on and on It scares me that a school system sees their policy as appropriate What are the students learning Reply Eileen Reppenhagen says June 8 2012 at 4 50 pm Kathy I totally agree Let s do a reality check in It s one thing if there s a reason why it s not been turned in and when it s turned in late that reason can be verified by responsible third parties but it s quite another when time after time there s nothing turned in with adequate reason In real life there are deadlines and there are consequences like when you file your taxes late and owe there s a penalty The penalty should be zero We live in a world where we are required to self assess and at the high school level I believe that s a life skill that needs to be reinforced early on Today the Min of Fin released guidelines on how they are going to handle the backlog in Tax Court Is this what happens when we molly coddle The sense of entitlement that is developing is frightening Reply Susan Black says June 8 2012 at 5 23 pm If zero work is turned in then zero is the only possible grade to be assigned Will a zero hurt the student s self esteem If someone actually believes that what do they think that student would learn about how the world works if s he were given some other number even though s he didn t do any work Will giving him or her a different number like 25 or 50 or whatever teach him or her anything Sure It teaches a lesson that is all too common in today s education climate coast along do as little as possible and everything will be fine You will pass anyway because no one fails any more When you get to the workplace those same rules will be in place for you Umm Oh no That s wrong You ll get fired The fact that this topic has become news just has me shaking my head The future is scary Reply Erin Anne Beirne says June 8 2012 at

    Original URL path: http://parentingtoday.ca/2012/06/do-some-students-ever-deserve-a-zero/?replytocom=2615 (2013-06-03)
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  • Do Some Students Ever Deserve a Zero? | Parenting Today
    Home Great Work What is the Focus for Parenting Today 4 Responses to Do Some Students Ever Deserve a Zero Terri Cody says June 4 2012 at 10 11 am Then these students come to college and expect the instructors to allow them to do what they want and totally expect to pass the course If assignments are not handed in on time some students are shocked to discover the grade for that assignment is 0 Some students actually say it isn t fair that they are expected to do what is convenient for the teacher There are all sorts of rules about timelines in our society whether it is paying bills handing in reports at work showing up on time for work which also shocks some students being on time for travel and on and on It scares me that a school system sees their policy as appropriate What are the students learning Reply Eileen Reppenhagen says June 8 2012 at 4 50 pm Kathy I totally agree Let s do a reality check in It s one thing if there s a reason why it s not been turned in and when it s turned in late that reason can be verified by responsible third parties but it s quite another when time after time there s nothing turned in with adequate reason In real life there are deadlines and there are consequences like when you file your taxes late and owe there s a penalty The penalty should be zero We live in a world where we are required to self assess and at the high school level I believe that s a life skill that needs to be reinforced early on Today the Min of Fin released guidelines on how they are going to handle the backlog in Tax Court Is this what happens when we molly coddle The sense of entitlement that is developing is frightening Reply Susan Black says June 8 2012 at 5 23 pm If zero work is turned in then zero is the only possible grade to be assigned Will a zero hurt the student s self esteem If someone actually believes that what do they think that student would learn about how the world works if s he were given some other number even though s he didn t do any work Will giving him or her a different number like 25 or 50 or whatever teach him or her anything Sure It teaches a lesson that is all too common in today s education climate coast along do as little as possible and everything will be fine You will pass anyway because no one fails any more When you get to the workplace those same rules will be in place for you Umm Oh no That s wrong You ll get fired The fact that this topic has become news just has me shaking my head The future is scary Reply Erin Anne Beirne says June 8 2012 at

    Original URL path: http://parentingtoday.ca/2012/06/do-some-students-ever-deserve-a-zero/?replytocom=2647 (2013-06-03)
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  • What to consider when choosing a summer camp | Parenting Today
    he handle that Now remember this is about whether he s ready to be away from home not whether you re ready It can be hard to let our kids go to let them head off into the unknown without us along to look after them But as soon as they re ready it s the best gift we can give them They learn they can handle things on their own and we learn they can survive without us for a short while First however do your due diligence Look at the training of the camp staff Is the waterfront staff qualified to lifeguard children What is the ratio of staff to children Are there staff members who have been working at the camp for a number of years The best way to really assess a camp is to talk to the parents of children who have previously attended If you can talk to parents who share your values and have kids quite like yours that is the absolute best route to go Speaking of values this is an important part of the discussion about summer camp Often camps are associated with organizations you already know Maybe your children are involved in programs at the Y the Boys and Girls Clubs or your church or sports team may have a camp In this case you already know a lot about the staff and its values It is important to know who runs the camp Ask whether it is religious and if so how much religion is included in the programming Some parents have chosen a great camp only to find out later when their child returns home that there was a strong pervasive religious message that hadn t been mentioned in the literature If the camp is religious ensure that that activities and messages fit with your belief system What do your kids want from a camp experience There are so many options for kids today Some children just love a rustic camp with tents or basic cabins and outdoor biffys They are looking for water sports hiking and physical challenges Other kids are looking for something a little more up scale with hot showers and flush toilets There are camps for all kids There are sports camps for your young volleyball player who wants to hone her skills computer camps for the nerds in the group and the more traditional wilderness camps Choose the one that best fits your child To help you assess the safety of the camps each province offers an accreditation process for all camps that have been running for at least one year Knowing that the camp you ve chosen is accredited is one way to know that it has met the basic standards in terms of training programming and safety Information on camps can be found on line Once you have selected a camp attend the open house at the camp or in town This is a marvelous opportunity to meet the camp director

    Original URL path: http://parentingtoday.ca/2012/05/what-to-consider-when-choosing-a-summer-camp/?replytocom=2533 (2013-06-03)
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  • Guidelines for offering kids choices | Parenting Today
    them for a long time And now What about offering kids choices Offer your children choices Offering your children choices is a very effective and worthwhile way to allow them to get involved in decision making and have them feel some ownership of and control over their own behavior This is one of the most effective skills a parent can develop but is also fraught with problems and misunderstandings Here are the basics Never offer a child a choice when health or safety are at risk You can cross the street with me or figure it out on your own Obviously impossible Once a choice has been offered allow only a reasonable length of time for the child to decide We all know that children can procrastinate on the choice between an apple or an orange for an incredibly long time Don t offer a child a choice that will seriously inconvenience other people You can sleep wherever you want Unless you are prepared to turn any part of your home into a bedroom offer instead the choice of red pyjamas or yellow pyjamas Language is everything If you don t eat your dinner you can t have anything until morning and then you ll be hungry is a threat and lecture all in one Try to avoid using if as that connotes a threat and can easily develop into a power struggle Instead offer a real choice and allow the child to figure out the consequences You have a choice you can either eat your dinner now or you can wait until the next meal Or You have a choice you can eat your dinner now or for bedtime snack By using this option the child is still waiting until the next regular eating time and is eating the nutritionally sound meal rather than a traditionally less valuable snack option Rarely offer an open choice You can eat whatever you want for meals Do you really want her living on crackers As a matter of fact this is ignoring your responsibility to help your child to eat a nutritionally well balanced diet If a child doesn t eat much it is important that what she eats be worthwhile Never offer a choice that is an empty threat There are times when you must become involved with the decisions your children make In other words there are times when misbehavior is not one of the choices and you must be prepared to remove the child from the situation For example when visiting the child needs to understand that appropriate behavior is a pre requisite to remaining The choice is You can change your behavior and stay or we can go home Only use when you are prepared to leave and understand you may have a responsibility to leave a good party in order to help you child handle social situations in the future Choices need to be offered within the context of house rules safety and health There are some

    Original URL path: http://parentingtoday.ca/2012/05/guidelines-for-offering-kids-choices/?replytocom=2477 (2013-06-03)
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  • Guidelines for offering kids choices | Parenting Today
    with them for a long time And now What about offering kids choices Offer your children choices Offering your children choices is a very effective and worthwhile way to allow them to get involved in decision making and have them feel some ownership of and control over their own behavior This is one of the most effective skills a parent can develop but is also fraught with problems and misunderstandings Here are the basics Never offer a child a choice when health or safety are at risk You can cross the street with me or figure it out on your own Obviously impossible Once a choice has been offered allow only a reasonable length of time for the child to decide We all know that children can procrastinate on the choice between an apple or an orange for an incredibly long time Don t offer a child a choice that will seriously inconvenience other people You can sleep wherever you want Unless you are prepared to turn any part of your home into a bedroom offer instead the choice of red pyjamas or yellow pyjamas Language is everything If you don t eat your dinner you can t have anything until morning and then you ll be hungry is a threat and lecture all in one Try to avoid using if as that connotes a threat and can easily develop into a power struggle Instead offer a real choice and allow the child to figure out the consequences You have a choice you can either eat your dinner now or you can wait until the next meal Or You have a choice you can eat your dinner now or for bedtime snack By using this option the child is still waiting until the next regular eating time and is eating the nutritionally sound meal rather than a traditionally less valuable snack option Rarely offer an open choice You can eat whatever you want for meals Do you really want her living on crackers As a matter of fact this is ignoring your responsibility to help your child to eat a nutritionally well balanced diet If a child doesn t eat much it is important that what she eats be worthwhile Never offer a choice that is an empty threat There are times when you must become involved with the decisions your children make In other words there are times when misbehavior is not one of the choices and you must be prepared to remove the child from the situation For example when visiting the child needs to understand that appropriate behavior is a pre requisite to remaining The choice is You can change your behavior and stay or we can go home Only use when you are prepared to leave and understand you may have a responsibility to leave a good party in order to help you child handle social situations in the future Choices need to be offered within the context of house rules safety and health There are

    Original URL path: http://parentingtoday.ca/2012/05/guidelines-for-offering-kids-choices/?replytocom=2486 (2013-06-03)
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  • You Can’t Make Me! How to Handle Power Struggles | Parenting Today
    up This is a trap created by misinterpreting the advice to stay out of power struggles Staying out of a power struggle does not mean ignoring the behavior and allowing the child to continue doing whatever she wants It means breaking the tension changing the focus It means changing your own motivation from needing to win I ll show this kid If he thinks he can do this to me to your larger discipline goals This is not acceptable behavior Jeffrey needs to learn that when he acts in that way he can t participate in family activities How The more your family has developed a positive approach to discipline the less likely you are to be dealing with power struggles However that doesn t make you immune and at certain times conflict will escalate and you will find yourself embroiled almost before you know it You will know you are in a power struggle when all you can think about is winning If you want to deal with the issue and try to salvage the self esteem of both your child and yourself you will first have to break the struggle and refocus The best way to do that is to physically separate even for a minute A trip to the bathroom is a beautiful way to accomplish this You can leave the scene and return without losing face or giving in But the break does give everyone a chance to regroup and a new and more positive approach can be tried when you return This is equally effective when engaged in a power struggle with another adult Sometimes a bit of exercise helps I think we need to clear our heads I m going for a walk around the block then we can continue this discussion You can also suggest a time out Look we re getting nowhere right now Let s discuss this after supper Let s look at how this might play out in real life It s time for Janelle to go to bed You ve asked her to put on her pyjamas and she refuses You reach to grab her and force her into her PJs she is sitting firmly on the bed determined to stay in her clothes You are face to face heading for a real confrontation when suddenly the phone rings You leave the room to answer it and your conversation with a friend allows you to calm down Now you are able to return to Janelle s room and handle the pyjama issue with some maturity It is likely that the mere action of your leaving the room allowed Janelle to get ready for bed without losing face After all sitting all alone on the bed being stubborn can get boring in a real hurry In that case you can be matter of fact as you kiss her good night If she is still dressed you can say something like It s bedtime Do you want to wear your clothes

    Original URL path: http://parentingtoday.ca/2012/04/you-cant-make-me-how-to-handle-power-struggles/?replytocom=2435 (2013-06-03)
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